“The most important thing she’d learned over the years was that there was no one way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchillfrom Daily-Quotes
Who are you as a parent?
Being pregnant and deciding to have a child is a big decision. When the first child is born, you become a mother. Kaboom. Just like that. It’s exciting and sometimes terrifying to step into this new life.
How will you know what to do?
With everything you’ve accomplished in life, it’s because you learnt ‘how.’ You learnt to walk by trying and failing. Then, one day – you found your balance and started walking everywhere. You learnt to ride a bike by trying, or swimming or baking. Most of what we do in life, we learn. We fail. We practice. We build skills. We build wisdom.
The same goes for motherhood. You will be learning as you go.
Do you have a role model in mind?
There is a stereotype of a mother in every culture. In my life, my version of motherhood was influenced by a fiercely independent mother, grandmother and great-aunt. Mom lost her mom when she was only 5- years old so she was raised by a stepmom, aunt and grandmother. It was a close-knit loving family in a small rural, and isolated, town. (There were fathers involved too, but this post is focusing on motherhood).
If I think of motherhood and what it means, I come up with a list that almost feels impossible to follow:
– Overflowing with common sense
– Answers to every question ever asked
– Always there
– Always caring
– Always helping
– Always ready to put me and my needs first
– Sense of humour
– Fabulous cook
– Can do all my homework with me
– Encouraging and challenging
– Always able to solve problems
You get the idea.
My mom was some of these things, and a few things not on this list. But it’s an idea to get you started thinking about your role as a mom.
What kind of mom do you want to be?
There’s a lot of pressure on new moms to be superheroes.
As a new mom, you’ll likely be chronically tired and maybe dealing with physical aftereffects of birth, while adjusting to a new life.
Society takes all of this as a matter of normal. You probably do to. And it is normal, it might just be bigger than you expected and normal does not mean ‘easy.’
But here’s the deal. Take the time to grow into your new role. There’s something new to learn each day. It’s not all instinct.
Maybe you’ve raised your siblings, maybe you’re a daycare worker, banker, teacher, nurse, lawyer, clerk, physician, pilot….
Regardless of what else you have in your life or what other roles you play, now you’re a mom.
What will that mean to you?